Someone wrote me last week asking if I knew of the “perfect church” for ex-Catholics. She had found this site by searching for those keywords. She said she had tried other religions, but missed the ceremonial aspect of Catholicism. I’m cyber-friends with another Sort-of Catholic who said she had the same experience, tried other religions, and finally ended up returning to the Catholic Church. Sort of. A childhood friend recently told me that she misses nothing at all about the church, but she left at age 18, whereas I and these other women were in our 30s.
I wrote back, and told her that there is no such thing as a perfect church, because religion is man-made and therefore differs from spirituality.
At least that is my opinion. Then again, I do not miss the ceremonial aspects of Catholicism at all. Mass was hard for me to sit through. I found its repetitiveness to be mind-numbing. Otherwise, I had little objection to most laws and philosophies of the Church. I didn’t delve deep into understanding much of it, either. What I do miss about Catholicism: the homily, going on retreats, community, opportunities for volunteer work, the lovely church building itself that was my parish and holds many wonderful memories. I also miss not being divided from my family on the subject of religion.
For any former Catholic, inevitably there is the question: Now what? I left the church two years ago and am still somewhat uncertain where to go from here. I still mourn the loss sometimes and in the beginning I had trouble separating God from Catholicism.
See, another reason there is no “perfect” solution to the “What now?” question is that we all became former Catholics for different reasons and at different times in our lives. I’ve tried to find out where most people go when the leave Catholicism, and found this:
While those Americans who are unaffiliated with any particular religion have seen the greatest growth in numbers as a result of changes in affiliation, Catholicism has experienced the greatest net losses as a result of affiliation changes. While nearly one-in-three Americans (31%) were raised in the Catholic faith, today fewer than one-in-four (24%) describe themselves as Catholic.
Bishop John McCarthy writes on his website:
Why do these people leave? One of the most common reasons articulated is that they do not see the Catholic Church as a loving community of faith striving mightily to bring truth, justice and love into the world. Rather, in their opinion, they see a very large organization in which most individuals become isolated and this organization is controlled by a group of leaders that are insensitive to the needs of the people, who are seen to be more concerned about exercising power and control than a generous concern for all.
Further down in the post he quotes Father William Byron, who states:
If they really believed in Jesus’ presence, a misstep of this or that ecclesiastical leader and a failure at good communication within the Church would not motivate departure. If they really believed in the presence of Jesus, they would hold on through thick and thin and pray that a restructuring in the Church may soon come to reflect with much greater clarity the continued presence of Jesus of Nazareth.
Yes, McCarthy is disagreeing with Byron here.
And he uses that sentiment to bring home the central reason that all former Catholics—regardless of the circumstances surrounding our departure—leave Catholicism. We do not see the church as being the sole path (or for some, a path at all) toward truth, love, and justice. Whether we believe in Jesus’ presence or not, we have been able to separate that presence from Catholicism, at least partially, and in some cases view the church and Jesus in direct opposition.
The perfect church cannot be found here on earth. This isn’t to say there are not good churches that may be a better fit for some of us. We can, however, weave the missed aspects of our former faith into our lives in other ways, while growing in our spirituality and embracing the one quality that Jesus taught over and over in the bible: compassion.
QUESTION FOR FORMER CATHOLICS:
What spiritual path, if any, have you taken since leaving the Catholic church?
While those Americans who are unaffiliated with any particular religion have seen the greatest growth in numbers as a result of changes in affiliation, Catholicism has experienced the greatest net losses as a result of affiliation changes. While nearly one-in-three Americans (31%) were raised in the Catholic faith, today fewer than one-in-four (24%) describe themselves as Catholic.
Bishop John McCarthy writes on his website:
Why do these people leave? One of the most common reasons articulated is that they do not see the Catholic Church as a loving community of faith striving mightily to bring truth, justice and love into the world. Rather, in their opinion, they see a very large organization in which most individuals become isolated and this organization is controlled by a group of leaders that are insensitive to the needs of the people, who are seen to be more concerned about exercising power and control than a generous concern for all.
Further down in the post he quotes Father William Byron, who states:
If they really believed in Jesus’ presence, a misstep of this or that ecclesiastical leader and a failure at good communication within the Church would not motivate departure. If they really believed in the presence of Jesus, they would hold on through thick and thin and pray that a restructuring in the Church may soon come to reflect with much greater clarity the continued presence of Jesus of Nazareth.
Yes, McCarthy is disagreeing with Byron here.
And he uses that sentiment to bring home the central reason that all former Catholics—regardless of the circumstances surrounding our departure—leave Catholicism. We do not see the church as being the sole path (or for some, a path at all) toward truth, love, and justice. Whether we believe in Jesus’ presence or not, we have been able to separate that presence from Catholicism, at least partially, and in some cases view the church and Jesus in direct opposition.
The perfect church cannot be found here on earth. This isn’t to say there are not good churches that may be a better fit for some of us. We can, however, weave the missed aspects of our former faith into our lives in other ways, while growing in our spirituality and embracing the one quality that Jesus taught over and over in the bible: compassion.
QUESTION FOR FORMER CATHOLICS:
What spiritual path, if any, have you taken since leaving the Catholic church?
