Whether it’s simply a lack of Mass attendance or suffering from serious clergy abuse, there are many reasons we have left the Church. Here are some of the main reasons that Catholics have become Former Catholics:
1. You’ve left the Catholic faith without even realizing it—one day you just stop attending and never look back. You never felt connected to the Church or parish and no one has even noticed you are not there anymore.
2. You left because you’ve married a non-Catholic and decide to embrace that faith instead.
3. You discovered that Catholicism does not coincide with many of the bible’s teachings and that much of its doctrine is man-made. You either join another faith or do not join another denomination.
4. You’ve gone through many agonizing struggles with Catholic dogma, and ultimately realize that your life situation cannot be reconciled with Catholic doctrine.
5. Perhaps you are currently still a Catholic “in good standing” but are discerning whether Catholicism is the answer to salvation.
6. Hypocrisy. A traumatic life event involving a member of the church hierarchy has left you reeling and this religious abuse ends your tie with Catholicism in a split second.
7. A traumatic life event in general has questioned your belief in God or Christianity altogether.
Or maybe it’s a combination of several of these factors. For many cradle Catholics, Catholicism is not just a religion, it’s a culture and a way of life. Catholics who question an aspect of doctrine may find themselves at a crossroads of confusion and anxiety, especially those who feel an affinity and attachment to their parish.
Just as there are many reasons that Catholics leave the church, there are many demographics: young and old, with thorough knowledge of Catholic teaching or little knowledge at all, and some feel at total peace with their decision while others may find the break deeply painful.
So this is a group website, where guest posts and comments are welcome and encouraged, where resources are shared. We want to hear your story, to share the struggles and triumphs along your spiritual journey during and after Catholicism.
3/8/11
Deliver Us From Evil
“Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.”—Sam, victim of child molestation by a priest
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© Wikipedia |
Before I left the Roman Catholic Church, I used to hear some former Catholics say that they had left the church because they had a run-in of some sort with a priest. I used to think it was a stupid reason to leave the church—priests are mere human beings and of course you aren’t going to be fond of every priest. Priests are not infallible. They are people, and there are good and bad priests in the system, just as there are good and bad politicians running this country…so my logic was, if you don’t like the president, it doesn’t mean you are no longer an American. So leaving the church due to an issue with a priest seemed incongruous to me.
Of course, it no longer does. Unless you have been on the receiving end of religious abuse of any sort, then it really is impossible to know what you will do, no matter how staunch your loyalty to any institution.
"The greatest persecution of the church doesn't come from enemies on the outside but is born from the sins within the church."—Pope Benedict XVI, May 10, 2010
I watched Deliver Us From Evil when I was still a practicing Catholic. I thought the pedophile scandals were as horrific then as I do now, and it’s an interesting side note that many or most of us “ex-Catholics” hold the same or better values than we did before we left the RCC.
The movie centers around 3 of Oliver O’Grady’s victims, one boy and two girls. I watched this about 3 years ago (but have since read many articles about it) so I will comment on what I remember to be the most memorable and shocking to me. Indeed, the entire thing was shocking—but there were specific gut-wrenching moments in the film that really strike many of us as uniquely horrific. Universally, of course, it’s unbelievably insane that the bishops would allow O’Grady to transfer from parish to parish knowing full well that he was raping children. It’s obviously grotesque that O’Grady would receive such a mild sentence and be allowed to return to Ireland, where he is a free man today. And that he would—even jovially—recount his crimes on air in this documentary is borderline personality disorder.
However, the thing that shocked the hell out of me about this film, was Ann Joyno’s tearful commentary that she remains a steadfast practicing Catholic, despite being raped over and over as a child by this monster, despite her once-devout parents’ vow never to set foot inside a church again.
Because the moment in the film that leaves us feeling kicked in the stomach as we watch it, is her dad’s heartbreaking display of agony over the fact that he allowed a monster into his home for years—years that he now knows a monster was raping his daughter over and over. That he worked hard to pay tuition for his daughter to go to a Catholic school to receive a wholesome spiritual atmosphere, but instead was being raped That he trusted. That he can never forgive himself for his lack of judgment in not seeing, for years, that this man he held on a pedestal was a devil in his home. That because of this, his daughter suffered the worst of crimes throughout her childhood. That even now he knows this man is alive and well and thus able to continue committing these horrors.
Grief like that, so raw and wrenching, was the heart of the film for me. And Ann’s tears, that if she ever marries, her father will not walk her down the aisle because Bob Joyno will not—can not—enter a Catholic church ever again.
For Ann, I suspect, the indoctrination during her formative years when her parents were extremely devout Catholics, this indoctrination and the only spiritual life she’s ever known, has taught her that O’Grady was just a man, not the church, not the institution. Her spiritual life, despite the horrors she suffered, was never separated from Catholicism—after all, she knew about the abuse nearly all of her life. But for Bob Joyno and his wife, the rug was ripped out from under them to discover that their house of cards had not been made of brick, that everything—their church, their priest, their daughter’s upbringing and well-being—was all a lie.
Where are They Today?
It would be interesting to find out where Ann, her parents, Nancy Sloan, and Adam are today. But I have not been able to find any information about them. Are they still Catholic? Did they all leave the church? Did the pope’s apology affect them? And what of O’Grady? He seems to have disappeared altogether. Except that he is still out there.
And so are many others.
2/26/11
Invitation to Former Catholics for Guest Posts and Comments
Following is a tentative list of topics I would like to explore on this site. I'd like to invite any Catholic in transition or former Catholics to guest post or comment on the following topics.
You may also reach me directly at aftercatholicism@gmail with questions or suggestions for other topics. I welcome your thoughts!
After Catholicism – now what?
Apologetics
Annullments
Authenticity
Bible vs. Catechism
Bloody Church History
Cafeteria Catholics
Catholic Dating Sites – Beware
Catholic Converts
Celibacy in the Priesthood
Confession
Cradle Catholics
Excommunication
Family Planning – Birth Control, Infertility and Single Parenthood
Feminist Theology
Former Catholics – Why did you leave?
Gay Marriage
Good Things About the Church
In the News
Intolerance
Heretics
Hypocrisy
Judgemental Catholics and Parish Cliques
Lent, Fasting and Fish
Love Is a Decision
Marriage – the Church’s particular view
Mary
Non-Catholics Can be Saved
Novenas and the Rosary
Nuns
Opus Dei
Papal Infallability and the Magisterium
Pedophile Scandals in the Church
Parishes in Peril
Pharisaism in Catholicism
Priests In Love
Priests Who Leave and Why
Pro-life Movement
Protestant Reformation and Indulgences
Purgatory
Resources & Reviews - Media
Resources - Online
Sacraments
Sacrifical Love
Single Catholics
Spirituality Versus Religion
Statistics
Stewardship – Time, Talent, Treasure
Vocations
Women in Love With a Priest
Women’s Limited Role
World Marriage Day
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